Archive for the ‘lol’ Category

New Gavelier on the Block

This is just a quick note on something that may only interest me. Anyway, for most of the past three years or so, since I started playing, if you searched “Gavelier” on the WoW Armory, you got me. Period. That was it, I was the world’s only Gavelier. Now, for the first time I can recall, there’s a new Gav on the block. Gavelier, a Tauren retribution paladin on another server has come to my attention. I would love to take credit for the name or being their inspiration (what with them being a ret pally as well) I don’t think that’s the case. In any event, the world’s big enough for way more then two Gaveliers. I welcome all namesakes.

As a side note, the new Gavelier is in my battlegroup (Emberstorm) so maybe we’ll meet in a battleground someday. Maybe.

Alazar’s Party Starter-Class Classification


I’ve been pondering the classes of WoW and I’ve come up with some interesting analogies. I was wondering what would happen if each of the classes was bound by the burdens and responsibilities befitting of their lore? What would playing them be like? Here, in summary, is my take.

  • Paladins – You refuse to kill most mobs and bad guys because they’re not pure evil.
  • Priests – No questing on Sunday morning for you! You’re needed at the Chapel of the Light.
  • Hunters – Forget acquiring Phat Lewts, Orgrimmar is starving. Go kill level six Dire Mottled Boars for hours  to feed the masses.
  • Warriors – Rent-a-cops. Your basically hired muscle so you spend your day guarding the auction house.
  • Rogues – You get chased by the rent-a-cops for robbing the local auction house.
  • Druids – Hippies. That’s all I have to say.
  • Shamans – You spend all day filling in the holes you make planting your totems around town, because the rent-a-cop makes you
  • Warlocks – The hell with the world. You spend all day playing Dungeons and Dragons in the basement of the Blue Recluse with your buddies.
  • Death Knights – You kill all of the other classes, because that’s just what you do.

Suffice it to say, I think the Death Knight probably gets the best of the deal.  In any case, I’d love to hear some other thoughts on this. Any takers?

Back to pre-85 Gavelier


Instead of leading off my first level 85 post with my latest hijinks, I’m instead going to fill in some gaps from my trip to the top. First off, there needs to a be a freaking warning sign next to the guy above. No, not Gav (him too, though). Caimas the (damned) Pit Master. I didn’t know he was a gimmick fight. I knew nothing of leading him through eggs to slow him down. Nope, I just stood toe to toe with him – for about three minutes. Damn was he tough! I had to keep healing, and hitting, and healing, casting Divine Shield,  and healing, and hitting, and waiting for Forbearance to wear off, hitting some more, casting Lay on Hands, using Avenging Wrath twice, hurling an inordinate amount of Hammers of Wrath, healing yet more, and finally living to see him die. I never want to fight him again.


Oh no. No, no, no. I am NOT working with Flintlocke. There is absolutely no way. Have you seen what he’s done to rogues? And trees? I don’t even want to mention his use of the Chuck-Shot. Hopefully he’s not going to….


God dammit. There is no freaking way. This Paladin-Shot sounds far worse then the Chuck-Shot, the Remote Backstab, the Beaverstick, or even the Beaverchucks, mostly because it involves me getting in a cannon that Flintlocke is firing. That just sounds like it will hurt like hell.


AAAAGHH!! Yeah, I let him shoot me out of a cannon. I’m trusting, ok? The problem was, I was shot out into the middle of the freaking bay. I had to swim back, come back into the fort, and – get this – let him shoot me a second time. That’s not trust, people. That’s insanity.

And I didn’t even get a title for my work.

As a side note, I was a huge fan of Flintelocke’s Guide to Azeroth long before I played World of Warcraft. It actually inspired me to write my own web comic on Gavelier’s misadventures, Gavelier’s World of Warcraft (my favorite comic is this one, because it was so true). Dave “Fargo” Kosak, writer of the Flintlocke series on Gamespy was nice enough to read my comic and gave me some nice compliments on my work and some pointers to go by. Thanks again, dude!

I may one day either continue or reboot Gav’s comic, but it’s not likely at the moment – my hand-drawn comic is more important to me right now and it’s been in hibernation for a few weeks itself.

Fire from the Skies


That’s…. not a good thing, right? Yeah, I didn’t think so. Gav was in the middle of a two-hour archeology marathon and was on his way to Duskwood from the Western Plaguelands, where he hoped to ding 83 by digging up useless junk (just for the record, he did). I was just coming south out of the Searing Gorge when I espied a large wing in the skies above the Burning Steppes. I thought, stupidly enough, “Hey, maybe it’s a rare I can kill for kicks!” I got just a little closer and saw what you see above. Nope, can’t kill that.


Long story short, I Stood in the Fire.  Deathwing – 1, Gav – 0.


Sights Seen – Kitty Bomber

WoWScrnShot_022710_083054Here we see Ineveitable taking his pet Mistsabre out for a flight. How nice. Now if druids were supposed to be able to ride their land mount in flight form, that’d make this a boring shot. Instead, it makes Sights Seen. Sometimes glitches are more fun then features.

Gav Got Manabonk’d!

I was fishing in Dalaran’s sewers tonight, when I saw spell approach from the side. It hit, and I was sheeped. So there I am, a poor sheep, looking for my attacker, and there’s this dude, Manabonk, looking at me. He then teleports away, leaving me confused as hell. Finally, I get a letter in the mail that one ‘Minigob Manabonk’ had Manabonked me, and for my ‘cooperation’, he gave me my own manabonker, The Mischief Maker.  Now, I couldn’t afford to let that opportunity slide, could I? I ran up to my nearest guildie and manabonked them. Fair play, I feel.

I had actually just arrived back in Dalaran from trying to help some guildies finish Azjol-Nerub. Anub’arak wiped us no less then three times before we gave up. Last time, we kicked his butt soundly. This time… I don’t know what the problem was. Our tank kept dying, so it could have been a bad night for the tank, or our weak link could have been our new healer, or maybe we just weren’t doing enough damage fast enough. My DPS was down some 3k points because I had to keep stopping to heal myself or let the tank re-focus the boss. Oh well. Can’t win ‘em all, I guess.

Reindeer Take Over Dalaran

Attention  WoW players on the Cairne-US server: If you’re seeing a recent influx of reindeer in Dalaran, I’m sorry. It was my fault. I take full responsibility for the reindeer boom.

Now you may be asking what this is all about and how it’s my fault. Let me explain; A guildie of mine and some of his friends have recently been doing mammoth parades around Dalaran for kicks during down time. I wanted to mess with them but I don’t have a mammoth, nor any other rare-ish mount. What I did have, though, was preserved holly. Allot of it. So, I got on my bear mount and used the holly, producing a reindeer. I ran around them saying that “Rudolph said for all mammoths to go home.” People laughed, so I added, “However, Rudolph also says he wants a Coke, so maybe he’s just cranky.” More laughs ensued. I followed them around, and at one point raced ahead of them, standing in their path. As they walked through me I yelled aloud about them trampling Rudolph. My guildie’s buddy said, “Gav, you and Rudolph go somewhere.” So I said that we were going to go deliver toys to all the good boys and girls. I went to the landing pad and turned my gryphon into a reindeer. I circled the dock for a while before swooping down on the parade, mid-town.

Now this was all just a fun lark one night. We thought nothing of it. I logged back in tonight, and Dalaran was loaded with reindeer. I saw no less then seven of them, when I’d never seen any there before my joyride. I doubt it was just a coincidence. I hadn’t seen a reindeer since last winter, and now they’re everywhere. Again, I apologize to players on my server. I guess all great minds just think alike.

And the dumb ones do, too.

Sights Seen: Dad…? Is that You?

Otousan No, Gav, that is not your dad. For one, your dad was probably a pally, too, and pallys can’t use staves. For another thing, he’s freaking HUGE. He probably just drank a Winterfall Firewater, but still. Lastly, he’s a prominent member of the Kiron-tor, and you’re not. He’d still beat you like he was your dad if you keep staring at him, though. Go ahead, try it. Just make sure you know where the nearest graveyard is first.

Sights Seen is where you can share your best/most interesting screencaps. Please don’t submit screenshots with the UI, or pictures that have beeen doctored. If you’d like to send something to Alazar’s Sights Seen, send it to me HERE.

Where the Heck am I?

What Happened...?

When I was trying to get to Borean Tundra today by boat, I was hit by four straight loading screens before find myself here. In Dalaran Crater, in the Alterac Mountains, floating above the boat well under ground. After about two or three minutes, I was back at a loading screen, and then back at Stormwind Harbor. Finally, I ended up in Valiance Keep after another loading screen. I continued my adventures (as described below), but that time below Dalaran Crater was a first for me. I just don’t want to end up there again!

The Wild, Wild Adventures of Oakleaf

Flying Oakleaf

I had just left a Wintergrasp battle where the Horde had taken the keep in less then five minutes when a guildmate, Oakleaf, told us he was having a problem. I flew to him in Howling Fjord and… you can see the results above. Dude was floating over my head! He later roamed under the ground, appearing only for short bursts above the surface when he’d jump. He eventually found out that he could stand on the cannons in Valgarde (“the only solid land in my world”, he said), but that was little consolation. He then proceeded to roam the zone while I tailed his dot on my map. I was so focused on that dot that I actually followed it off of a cliff! Since he was underground and not following the road, he was unaware the peril he put me in. Thankfully, my bubble saved my hide (again!). We never did find out what the problem was, but it reminded me of the the time I swam/flew through Hellfire Peninsula.

Oakleaf Underground


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